I have been thinking for a while about writing this post .But then put it off cause my one good friend asked me if I can write this post after studying in a boys only school. Well I don’t know and I don’t care. Having read Hari’s and Syam’s post I think I’ll go ahead.
So when did I first start noticing umm the fairer sex? Ninth I suppose, at Alex sirs class and at that time girls my age were new to me. I didn’t understand (still don’t: and don’t think ever will ..:D ) girls. That year went by without incidents because of lack of company and well…guts. Then came 10th. Year of board exams, all the others except us the BOTS(We Boys Of Twenty Seven) seemed to be just thinking of marks, and there was this bit of pressure on all of us. We never let it get to us and to an extent that was because of all the fun we had at tuition classes. Tenth standard was another new beginning to me because it was then I think I made my first friend who was a girl(I still am not sure what girlfriend means. so ……) and she’s still my friend. Never had a crush on her or anything like that though. It was also the first time that my friends started picking on me using a girl…..her name ah well the clichéd miss x……. but I was always friendly with her and I think our friendship has grown over the years …but people like her were a major reason for 10th standard to become so exciting. Tenth gave me a bit more courage to mingle and the year passed with a lot of embarrassing moments for me. When the board exams results were out I secured a pretty decent 92% (decent cause some 25 guys from my class got above 90 that year).
Then came what would probably be the most joyous two years of my life… 11th and 12th .This was the time when I think I really started making friends with people outside my school and also started mingling quite freely with the . umm..girls…these two years was also probably the toughest in my life. There were a little too many things packed into these two years. 11th was an year of unlimited fun ,LA Fest, youth festival, school day drama and it was also the year I really started feeling something for a girl which was different from friendship. I think it was the first term of the year and this girl was at JK’s class. I used to go almost half an hour early to JK’s classes cause the girl used to come early and I would sit there and drool at her but I could never bring myself to speak to her and one day she didn’t come .I was disappointed but hoped to see her the next class. But alas, she never came again to that class-I don’t know why and I don’t think I ll ever find out and alas I haven’t seen her again……. Sigh
In the middle of all this I was trying hard to keep up with my studies. I tried my best to at least understand what I was reading but I was failing at it quite miserably. The only thing I was succeeding with was constantly falling asleep in front of my text books… (Chem. Txt books are really good to sleep on)
Test papers seemed to come at me at a terrific rate of 3 tests a day and there was the constant worry that I was gonna fail in maths (as a matter of fact I passed just 3 of my math exams in 11th) so all the girl stuff had to stay behind as I tried hard to score a pass mark for my term end exams….and think I fared well…
Then came the second term. It was a little more relaxed time of my life …..there was time to spare for other things. This was when I was really looking at girls. No girl in particular- almost everyone and anyone. Made a considerable amount of friends and life went on until some day in December-I was sitting at Saramma ma’am s class (centre bench) bored as usual and I was just looking around when I noticed a girl sitting across me; chatting with her friends ………I don’t know why or what had caused me to stare at her…..Christmas holidays set in and by the time school reopened all of us were busy with the school day drama and i didn’t get any time to give thought about her. The drama went quite well and life was back to normal and I really had forgottem about her.( Lets call her miss “Y”) But all of that was to change. One Sunday afternoon I was sitting at JK’s and Miss Y was sitting in another bench on my left when she told me and my friend that our school day play was real good and all the thoughts I had about her came back.But before I could really get to know her, all the frenzy that comes along with final year exams had set in. All of us were just hoping we pass for the exams….and before we knew it11th came to an end.
I had barely one month of holidays before tuitions started but I did think about her during the holidays and I hoped she would be in the same class and guess I was lucky she was in the same class and she sat at the same place and yes you guessed it right…..she was from HAC.(Again so clichéd)
So school reopened and12th was an amazingly busy year. Tuitions started as early as 5 00 am .But life was still enjoyable and yes I think I started developing a crush for miss Y… I talked to her occasionally but I don’t think she ever imagined that I had a crush on her .None of my friends except one seemed to know all this. All of my friends used to pick on me using other girls. The strange thing was in the last year I have been picked in the name of at least five girls except for miss y….
Life began to get busier with the board and entrance coming closer. Think it was in the middle of 2nd term that miss y joined orkut…so knowing her became a bit more easier …I had thought of telling her but then I could never bring myself to…days went by and I continued staring at her and to my utter dismay she never seemed to notice .The times when she saw me staring she would just give me a smile. But one day we were talking on orkut and I gave a slight hint that I had a crush on her but again she didn’t seem to take me seriously (damn it)…exams set in and in all that left no time to spare….
It’s after all the exams finished that I really started talking to her. And finally told her about my crush…I accepted her to be shocked but ah well she was amused….
All I got in return was the classic reply “I would like to be friends with you”… L I tried to push my luck with her but she used to come up with some explanation or other,and well that was over
People reading this may be thinking why I am writing such a long post on unsuccessful attempts of a teenager. I am just trying to figure out why all this happened……
Sitting here with an 88% for my boards and a dismal 3000+ rank for entrance I try to look back…I am not very sure why had a crush on miss y.. I still don’t see the point in calling her miss y…..almost everyone now seems to know who she is. She wasn’t the most beautiful girl I had seen in my life or anything. So why did I have a crush on her. I don’t know… I feel at 16 or 17 we don’t have the ability to see between right and wrong. That’s why I think teenage romance is crap…ok maybe it ain’t that bad…There are some success stories but those are really rare…I don’t think romance at such an early age is worth jeopardizing one’s studies for..I am not saying studies WILL be jeopardized (mine wasn’t) but that it MAY. Next part is for my juniors at Loyola… Don’t shy away from girls. I have girls who are my friends and it’s always great to have friends… the mysterious miss y J is one of my good friends … (ok friends still pick on us .i agree: D )…but friendship always survives unlike romance….which may wither away…But if u really feel you have found the right person then sure go for it ..Just think twice to make sure it’s just not another crush………