Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.- Albert Einstein



This article contains uncensored explicit material unsuitable for minors. You must be at least 18 years of age to read. If you are under 18 years of age and you do read, you may be violating local, state or federal law. This article is not for the faint hearted. Do not read further if you feel sick of. ..well. sick stuff 😀 Anyone taking offence can to sue the author, provided he/she gives a written notice 50 years in advance.

It’s been like one month into college and the most used, or rather overused word on campus (and outside) has been, “ragging”. Ragging is the systematic ritual physical and psychological abuse of freshmen or other juniors by their seniors in an educational setup, with the purported intent of socially inducting the newcomers into the group. ( To borrow a sentence from wikipedia)

Though some of the stories you hear about the topic are outrageously funny, some also make you feel sick enough to go without dinner. Which is precisely why I answered “There is no ragging at our college” to a query on the same by a college mate on our online community. To start with, here are some of the amusing ones.

When college started many of us would go to college in KSRTC buses. And it was kinda surprising when one evening we saw Nitheesh get into the college bus, known to be a haven to the errr. “raggers?”. Rohit passes an apt remark, “daivame …avan bus il keeri.. naale shavam pongum”.

Nitheesh reports being asked by a senior about which part of his classmate (she was also on the bus at the time) he liked most. He replies “eyes”. Then he has to go around staring at the eyes of all the senior girls in the bus and try to find a similar kind of eye. He managed to get out of the bus alive, after meeting half the seniors and promising to do assignments about details of all the so called good-looking girls in his class 😀 Whenever he used to go in the bus, neatly dressed – that is to say with a tucked in shirt etc, they used to pull out his shirt. Now me being the usual “kanji” self, always went to college not caring much about how I dress. ( Have the experience of wearing slippers to school). Now the same seniors ask me to come the next day, dressed in my best; tucked in tight, plus shoes and polished belts. That hath amused many.

Someone in the bus asked me to sing a song. I’ve never been and never will be known for my singing. No sooner had I started a voice calls out from the front “da avanodu nirthan paredaaa……… entamo.. utter horror”.

And another asks me where I did my schooling. And he wonders why I have not a better rank to talk of despite being in the school which is known to produce some of the best results. “enthada avide padichittum athrayee ollo ?”
Me “cheta.. poyate ollu.. padichilla”
Chettan: “ Kollam.. enikkivane ishtapettu.. da neeyokke annu SCT il varende.. mon ivide vannal mati.. padikkenda… appo enne pole inkane vainokki irikkam”
In between I ran into another chettan on the way to the canteen. He pointed to another senior and said “go ask him his name.”. And so I did, and came back to report, “He says Mr. #####”
”Okay now go ask him his fathers name”.
I go ask and gets the reply, “atinu mumbu avante thanthede name chodiku. Inkane chodikkanam. ‘ninte thanthede peeru enthonnada patti’ “
I come back and start “errrrr…..”
”da atu paranja nine njan ividde vechu vettum”.

Then there was Rojan. He always used to get into the bus and ask “Chetta innu eetu song paadanam ? innale kal ho na ho paadi”

We go to our old school to play football and whom do we find there? Our seniors from 2 years before. The game was really funny. The SCT juniors refused to defend their seniors from the same college and so did CET. In fact… noble nodu ball vechitu pokan paranju. Avan vechittu poyi. Some of the dialogues included “ayoo njan SCT alle.. njan collegil ninnu resign chaiteee”

Then there was Akhil in CET. First day into college, he approaches the main gate and is immediately surrounded by his seniors. They ask him his name and our hero goes “buwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ” (We thought he had stopped crying in 11th – obviously we were mistaken). Though we were much used to this behaviour, those guys weren’t. They scatter helter shelter and I’m told that some even took him to the canteen and bought him tea to pacify the baby.

And then there was Subin in the same college. A senior would get into class and he would move away. The senior would move to the side and he would move to the other. Soon they were moving in circles around the room. (Machu I had expected better of you man.)

To give these two company was Jojin, whose mother was a teacher in the same place. So as expected this guy too crossed the path of a coupla seniors. They asked him all his details which included, “Where does your mother work”. Came the answer, “teacheraaa”.
”Enthada schoolum collegum onum ille? Eviduthe teacheraa? “
”Ivideyokke thane “
”nee sheri avoola.. vegam poykko”.

That reminds me of a story narrated by a senior about how his classmates tried to make some juniors do the “mech salute”. Now the mech salute is like… well you have to stand with your legs apart and grab your crotch before saluting or something 😀 lol.
So this junior is cornered and asked to give the mech salute. He responds by saying he doesn’t know what it is. Commands the senior, “Well, grab the crotch”……… and the junior grabbed the seniors……
Everyone blinks….and blinks…………. And blinks. (That’s a classic)

Though most of the stuff that happens around campuses are fun and laughable sometimes they do cross some of the limits. And if you are wondering it happens only around here; you are greatly mistaken. Another good friend started his year in BITS, Dubai. In his own words, “I had to imagine my butt was a pencil and write my name on the wall.”

Now here I would like to paste a paragraph my old classmate, now at NIT, Calicut, posted on our class community.
”well….well… many of u were made to do the following……..go and tell a Rajasthani gal…”you are looking very sexy today”….n then to get her comments on that written on your hand? Well….she was about to write on my hand when some seniors (unfortunately, northie chettans) came by and…they told me to fuck off……… 😛 ….Then had to walk around the whole campus with ur bag in front which apparently appears as something else(yeah!…u guessed it rite)……buying cigarette packets….being dragged into cars by seniors , “RAGGED”…n then being dropped off at the same place(mafia style…..!)….heh…pattum dancum okke usual stuff…..tell me sumthing new…….anyways….to all fellas who r yet to b ragged..happy ragging….. AAAYUSHMAN BHAVA>>!!”

(may his soul rest in peace. Amen)

That brings us to some of the more SICK cases. Again up north. For its always there its sicker. (not counting the friend who got beaten up by some drunks in college in this city.)

A senior from my school who joined IIT last year had to watch a porno movie and label the parts.

Then there was a guy who was given an assignment to write 1000 words on “The history of underwear”. He passed the test with flying colours- thanks to all the nonsense-writing training that the Loyolites have gone through these many years of thinking up crap to fill English essays with. His next assignment however was a bit unpleasant, having to do with going around campus and asking the female subjects about certain biological frequencies and plotting it on a graph. I spare you the details, and your dinner.

Here again I paste the words from a fellow now at NIFT, Banglore.

I was made to:-

1. Propose to at least 30 dif gals including seniors and people u meet on streets.
2. Smooooooch a wooden door in canteen n front of 100 odd people.(30 secs).
3. Dance on top of table with 4 ponytails on my head
4. Fuck a tree in a park 4 full 3 minutes.
5. Give birth to a kid. (laber room was the canteen and I was lying on a table..), nane him n breast feed him. I had 2 oranges in my t-shirt.
6. Be a dildo n talk about myself (galz askd dis one)
7. Was raped by 3 (had 2 act lik dat vid proper sound n spcl fx)

Wow, I take the other sentence back. Sorry about your dinner guys 😀

Now you can save three days worth of food.

Mebbe this again was fun. But the next one sure isn’t. This guy at BITS say that they have to dance nude around a fire with a cigarette burning in their butts. Ugh.
Further I heard that another got pushed off a ladder by seniors and broke his leg or so. His parents took it to court.

For some, its fun and maybe even a break from college. And yes sure if taken in the right spirit. But sometimes it sure does go out of hand. Just read a report in the paper that some guys got send to jail for the act. It’s an unbailable offence after all.

With the increasing privatization of higher education in India, academic institutions in India have been experiencing increasing ragging related excesses. A report from 2007 highlights 42 instances of physical injury, and reports on ten deaths purportedly the result of ragging:

Ragging has caused a total of ten deaths in the last 2 years, [all of which] are not those of freshers. C. Lalitha, the mother of Mukesh ended her life due to the controversy surrounding the sexual abuse of her son during ragging (Andhra Pradesh, Sept 2006). Three of the ragging deaths were that of seniors: two seniors were killed by a first year student when he was being ragged (Vidyanagar, MP, Aug 2006); one senior ended his life when he was punished for ragging. The other seven deaths were those of freshman, six who committed suicide, and one due to the result of brutal ragging (equivalent to murder).

In addition, a number of freshers were severely traumatized to the extent that they were admitted to mental institutions.

After reading this, do you at Kerala uni think your being ragged?

Well, think again..

P.S. Though this be the most explicit content I have written so far, I again had to avoid a LOT of stuff which were TOO much even for those above 18. I would have had to add “and studied in my class 😀 ”. So you can imagine the degree of sickness of the stuff in my mind.

P.P.S. If you are any political activist, NGO official, government official, security/police officer etc, then to you I declare this whole article to be purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead(pun intended) are coincidental. The author reserves his right to be silent on questions about the characters involved in the write-up.



13 Responses to Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.- Albert Einstein

  1. Sriram says:



    p.s: Thank Gawd i didnt tell u my raggin stories;)..hehe

  2. Ah. The most explicit, and arguably, the best one yet!!! 😀 Cheerio buddy… Loved it. A few comments:

    * FACTUAL ERROR: The ‘senior’ who was pushed down from the ladder is pretty alright now,and is in good terms with the people responsible. He seems to have forgotten about the entire thing. Besides, his parents did not take legal action (though they were contemplating about doing so)

    *The narration of events and anecdotes are first rate. The sporadic use of Malyalam may be *forgiven* due to their sheer kalip outlook.

    *You seem to share my same problem. Yea. The naming blues. njan “SCT il alla.. satyam.. njan resign chaitu” makes that piece of work you’ve written seem crappy. Change it ASAP.

    *Too many quotes from Wikipedia this time, eh?? 😀

    That will be all… And, thanks for putting this piece up so fast!! Great work!

  3. Vishnu M J says:

    Good one, although i would say that i could tell you better stories that would make one forgo his dinner(like *****ing in front of 250 people). & u did make some factual errors,like shulli not crying during the 11th & 12th. Lekshmi was too much even for the rest of us guys. Luckily,we didnt hav any gross stuff over here this year ,thanks to the supreme court rulings. I know of only freshie in iitm who had to strip this year.Cheers & seeya on dec 1

  4. Aravind Menon says:

    Think you have seen it all……..?!!! you havent heard half of it unless you hearwhat happens in med schools>>>>> Here they actually get up close and personal,,,,,,,,,,

  5. Manuel Sebastian says:

    aah … i expected this frm u skoollie … 🙂 and abt tht cigarette dance thingy … its called jugnu dance … moreover we have the same thing as mech salute here .. . its called bits salute … do tht and shout out hail bits !!! i had to do it in the mess hall durin the lunch hour … 😐 and btw kanju , shulli did cry in 11th .. cheers and c ya aftr Jan 10th .

  6. Vishnu M J says:

    well, skoolie seems to have this penchant for drawing people close to him., remember, pindi & pyangu shared a really close relationship. avrude anashwara pranayathinthe kathakal ennathe ukg piller vare padi nadukkunyu.
    @ manu, v didnt hav salutes & stuff. But, if v laughed during ragging, (& dere were real cool guys who’d make u laugh,) u had to d muski, where v basically hav 2 act out wipin ur ###’s $$$$$ off ur face, shovuin it up ur ###, & then ###### it off. & v had 2 do it in hindi, wich made it sound really cool.

  7. chalz says:

    da da moda erakathade…medical schoolum ella skoolum oru pole thanne…
    da eppozhathe ukg pillar engane aa katha ariyum tey were not tere last yr…cming to think of it tey were born around the same time(+or-a year)pindi came to loyola..aliya eni pyaangu after all potent aano….pindi pani patticha…..

  8. The Quibbler says:

    hi again
    Hehe too bad machu.. i cud have used some more material 😀

    to my most dedicated reader and supporter and mentor ever…
    thanks for reading

    de language improve chaitittundu

    de pode.. ivide itinte appuram nadakunu
    contact praji for details

    cheers da.. good luck with your juniors next year 😀

    da wrong place to post that stuff. its not even related heh. anywyas..
    thanks for reading all

  9. kickassso says:

    Pandorikkal nadanna kathayaanu

    there was this female who was asked to say a speech about hair

    she was like ” mudi cheevum, curls aaki idum, neeti valarthum, short aaki trim cheyyum, chilappol dye cheyyum …” ennoke
    when she finished talking the chettan said” ok, ini namukku thalamudiye kurichu samsarikkam”
    she was like 😳

  10. Viki says:

    your are experiences are horrifying…I m writing the story based on the experienced of my friend

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